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Friday, June 15, 2007

Domestic pigs trashing our national forests

A population explosion of Homo Nosapiens “Redneckius” has been trashing our national forests (literally and figuratively), as observed repeatedly by myself over a number of years.

Weekend habitat is generally within 30 feet of a dirt road. Preferred diet is liquid, consisting primarily of beer (12-packs preferred), malt liquor, high fructose corn syrup, but also includes stomach-satisfying trans-fat-laced snack foods, and the ever-elusive hatchery-grown trout. Preferred transportation is a pickup truck or SUV, with mileage improvements accrued via load-reduction measures prior to campsite departure, as seen below.

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Hangover

Such losers prefer to advertise their exploits via permanent means whenever feasible. While ATVs are prized for rapid environmental destruction (and for maximal irritation to others), an axe convincingly demonstrates mastery over inanimate objects, leading to a well-earned pride of accomplishment, provided that all fingers and toes remain intact after the twelfth beer. But that might be incorrectly assuming that impairment of judgment actually was exacerbated by the beer.

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Pre or post stupor entertainment?

I collected much of the garbage after photographing this all too common rape scene, but hours would be required to restore the campsite to any semblance of its natural state, and even a small tree as seen above takes years of struggle to reach that size.

Stiff monetary penalties would be very appropriate for such human turds, along with a few hundred hours of service dedicated to restoring such trashed areas, court-ordered alcohol abstinence (hit 'em where it hurts), and a court order to buy a used Prius.

Not without some redeeming qualities, some such folks are really quite expert marksmen, able to shoot holes into large road signs while simultaneously drinking a beer, driving, and scratching their ass, adding a rather interesting patina to otherwise mundane roadside objects.

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